Rockford Day 13 Treatment Summary

  8/7/2024


Day 13 summary at Rockford at the Orchards:

-Completed morning tasks, dog walk, ride, and trip to Dunkin' Donuts for drinks

-Left in plenty of time but once again had to drive back home after leaving to take my medication.

-Arrived on time.

-Audience has been consistently larger than when I started week 1. Seems like days in a row we've had a capacity crowd of 14.

-Facilitator duties were shared by Steph & Wayna

-We started off with a quick activity to break the ice called grab bag. Each person grabs a piece of paper with a pre-populated question or dare from a basket. Everyone who grabbed a paper either answered the questions or performed the dare. It was a fun exercise to work off the anxiety, wake everyone up, to ensure we're engaged.

- A.M check in process/goal review:
  • Format today was name, how are you feeling, progress of yesterday's goal, and a personal affirmation.
  1. Current state-Content
  2. Status of yesterday's goal. Stay engaged, recognize triggers, and respond appropriately. At the end of the day go for a walk and reflect. I was taken off guard by being told of an unpleasant interaction that was initiated by a trusted relative directed at a loved one. In the past (pre-therapy/meds) I would have been severely challenged to work through this problem without emotion. Even though the issue remains unresolved I'm proud of myself that I was able to use what I've been taught to act wisely and logically. Also, I quickly realized who I can fall back on to provide support and I called him during my walk. Again, I received a round of applause for responding appropriately in a situation that became even more complicated.
  3. My personal affirmation is that I am a nice person.

-Thought for the day: FAITH=Fear Ain't In This House.

  • We were asked to list some ways that we find the courage to face each new day.  My answer is that there is no choice in my life but to face whatever challenges me. Fear is a daily, consistent emotion in my life that I've learned to live with.  Unfortunately, I also believe that my fear often comes out in the form of anger.

-We skipped relationship mapping so instead Wayna took over and led a session about healthy vs. unhealthy relationship.  Unfortunately, she did not come to the program prepared with content and instead of focusing on the topic went off on a 30-minute rant about why Trump should not be POTUS. 

-At the very end of the 'lesson" I asked if she would summarize the difference between the two and when she did not respond I offered to speak on her behalf.

-Paraphrasing what I said is that there are fictional relationships like Ozzie & Harriet, Mike & Carol Brady, and Ward and June Cleaver that are often used by my generation when defining the perfect relationship.  When you use fiction to measure reality your success in your relationship may not necessarily be recognized as such.  When we focus on defects we get deflated and when we get deflated we quit.  What two people in a relationship sometimes fail to see are the mutual sacrifices, compromises, unselfish decision making that have allowed them to overcome challenges together to be the best people they can be.  The message from me was twofold 

  1. Don't measure yourself against something that is not real. 
  2. Being committed takes work so if you're not willing to work hard don't commit.
 

-Lesson 2 consisted of a Brene Brown 20-minute TED talk about the Power of Vulnerability. Along with watching the video we were each assigned a question to answer at the end.

-I volunteered to answer question 1.

  1. Dr. Brown stated "Connection is why we're here; it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." Do you agree or disagree?    I said I agree because people are emotional beings.  As Dr. Brown was speaking a picture of a baby's hand embraced in that of his mother was displayed on the monitor.  That in itself shows the need for connection at birth.  As we continue to develop, we find a connection with our parent or guardians to be something we need to feel safe.  Throughout childhood we find friends or companions with whom we can confide, and they accept us for who we are. As we become adults we find partners who are accepting of our imperfections and therefore people we trust.  The list could go on and on with kids, grandkids etc. but the answer is yes, connection is why we're here. 

Key takeaway today
We're wired for struggle but still worthy of connection.

Goal for tonight
As I walk this evening challenge myself to stay in the logical mind and do not allow racing thoughts. Also, work on positive affirmations.

Concerns:
My term in the program is nearing the end therefore work and most of my triggers on clearly on the horizon. I need to study harder and work harder to be sure when I return, I'm able to continue to be a new me that I am today.

Response
65 total hours of therapy and 17 doses of Abilify. Mood is stable & I'm showing a strong ability to use coping mechanisms in my day to day.



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